I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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