So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
