Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
God, I missed his penis.
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