We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
