how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
