After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
