i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
