ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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