hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
