just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
