i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
