Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
