I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
