if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
