Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
