I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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