they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
