3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
