# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
