we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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