So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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