a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
