I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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