Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You need Xanax blowdarts
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
