Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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