stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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