barbara walters just said penis...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
