Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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