She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
