i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's like iHOP with fire
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
