the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
