I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
