im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
