her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
