i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
