did you get engaged???
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
