have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
