I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
