i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im having a threesome with these popsicles
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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