Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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