i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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