He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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