she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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