So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
be right there i have to get my cape
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
