U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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