If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
