is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
