Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
