i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Randomize
