At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
