i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
