my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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